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IN THIS ISSUE

• Verda Cook resumes her story of travelling by train
• Don Henderson sends an article about dirty handbags
• Betty Fehlhaber comments on a discrepancy in book pricing
• Shirley Grayman tells the touching story of Albert
• Here is the last of the students´ version of history
• Gerrit de Leeuw sends an example of an outstanding senior moment
• Kinga de Muinck forwards the tale of a senior mother
• Don sends a much lighter story about the Canadian way
• Jackie Stevenson and Val Parr forward a coffee story
• See this site for reviews of a startling new movie

Verda Cook continues her description of

EXPLORING CANADA "THE CANADIAN" WAY

September 21, 2007 - We woke around 6:00 a.m. Skies were gray and it was raining. Yellow foliage on birch and aspen trees was striking against a backdrop of green pine, spruce, and tamarisk trees. After a hot shower, we went to the dining car for breakfast, which was to be served from 6:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. John and Catherine, Stanley and I had been seated together for every meal, so yesterday evening we had decided that at breakfast we would enter the dining car at different times. The maitre d´ would then seat us with others, giving us the opportunity to become acquainted with other passengers. This morning a couple from Texas shared our table. Breakfast was a litany of complaints. This was their first train ride, and they were not impressed. They found the train too noisy, too unsteady to walk about, the food was not as good as in Texas, and the scenery was not to their liking. I wondered if they have ever been on a boat cruise and encountered rough seas - nothing but water as far as the eye can see (boring scenery) and unsteady sea legs. Oh well, we did not encounter them again.

After breakfast we spent some time in the dome, relaxing and enjoying the scenery. The train was now meandering through the northern mountain range.

We met a number of interesting passengers. One man, who was blind, was travelling with a seeing-eye dog. During the one-half-hour stop at Sioux Lookout, we had the opportunity for exercise and fresh air. While walking, we noticed the wife of the blind man playing tug-of- war with the dog, using a stuffed teddy bear. We asked if this was play or if there was another purpose for the tug-of-war. She told us that the bear was a security blanket for the dog when travelling. They also used the bear to amuse him. She then handed the bear to me and suggested I play with him, which I did. We had many fun times with the dog while travelling.

Soon after leaving Sioux Lookout, the PA system announced that we would be travelling through a series of tunnels. Between Sioux Lookout and Minaki we travelled through seven tunnels. After a game of checkers in the activities car, we went with John and Catherine to the lounge for coffee. Catherine then decided to return to their room. When she returned to the lounge she said that as she entered, the room was suddenly thrown into total darkness. At first she thought the train must have had an accident but soon realized it was moving normally. Not until the train emerged from the tunnel did she realize what had happened. What a coincidence!

We sat in the dome for a while. There were very interesting people on this train. One couple was from Finland. He continuously wore a leather jacket while the rest of the passengers were in shirt sleeves. This man also had a unique style of cowboy hat.

While seated in the dome, a service assistant entered and began checking each passenger. After some time, someone asked the reason for this check up. The service assistant said he must ensure that no contraband was on board. Someone quickly held up bottled water and asked if that was his target. When the laughter subsided, the assistant engaged the passengers in conversation, providing a lot of information regarding the history of some settlements and the geography of the region.

It took thirty hours to cross the Province of Ontario and enter the Province of Manitoba. Ontario is the largest province in Canada. We had left the mountains, lakes and rocky landscape and had entered the flat prairies of Manitoba. The vegetation changed from mostly pine, spruce, birch, and aspen to a more diverse landscape. Elm, oak, maples, and willows dotted the prairies. Instead of isolated fishing villages hugging the shorelines of northern lakes, we saw rich farmland and farm buildings.

We arrived in Winnipeg two hours behind schedule. A friend living in Winnipeg had planned to spend the one-hour stopover with us at the station, but because of the delay in schedule, the stopover was shortened to one-half hour. It was a disappointingly brief visit.

To be continued.

Don Henderson forwards this article on

DIRTY HANDBAGS

Have you ever noticed women who set their handbags on public toilet floors - then go directly to their dining tables and set them on the table? Happens a lot! It´s not always the restaurant food that causes stomach distress. Sometimes "what you don´t know ´will´ hurt you"!

Read on.... Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags were really dirty, because of where they have been.

Smart Mom! It´s something just about every woman carries with them. While we may know what´s inside our handbags, do you have any idea what´s on the outside? Women carry handbags everywhere, from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won´t be caught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag goes during the day?

"I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus a lot," says one woman. "On the floor of my car, and in toilets." "I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts, on the floor of the toilet," says another woman, "and of course, in my home which should be clean."

We decided to find out if handbags harbour a lot of bacteria. We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake, and then we set out to test the average woman´s handbag. Most women told us they didn´t stop to think about what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters, where food is prepared. Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn´t be surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty.

It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty that even the microbiologist who tested them was shocked. Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs said nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria.

Pseudomonas can cause eye infections, staphylococcus aurous can cause serious skin infections, and salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make people very sick. In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for salmonella, and that´s not the worst of it. "There is fecal contamination on the handbags," said Amy.

Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role. People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than those without, with one exception. The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst contamination of all. "Some type of feces, or possibly vomit," said Amy. So the moral of this story - your handbag won´t kill you, but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places where you eat.

Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don´t put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen countertop.

Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of shoes. "If you think about putting a pair of shoes onto your countertops, that´s the same thing you´re doing when you put your handbag on the countertops." Your handbag has gone where individuals before you have sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied bowels, etc! Do you really want to bring that home with you?

The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a handbag will help. Wash cloth handbags and use leather cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.

ED. NOTE: This week I had occasion to visit the toilet in a medical lab, and noticed there was no hook on the back of the door on which to hang a purse. I know some people don´t want to hang their purses on the back of doors in public toilets because they think someone might reach over the top and grab them, but that is a very unlikely scenario. It seems like a very good idea to hang them up.

Betty Fehlhaber comments on the discrepancy between

CANADIAN AND U.S. PRICING

The other day we purchased a book at Chapters and came face to face with the difference in Canadian and U.S. pricing. In our case, the difference was $4.00. My husband mentioned this unfairness to the clerk and she gave him an e-mail address to contact to register our complaint. I did so, and today received a reply. If more people contacted this outfit, perhaps something could be done to equalize prices, especially as on the day of purchase, the Canadian dollar closed at $1.0199. The address is apricing@indigo.ca

Shirley Grayman forwards a touching story about

A GRANDPA AND GRANDSON

An old man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was crying and at times screaming at the top of his lungs. As the old gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him speaking in a soft voice: "We are almost done, Albert.... Try not to cry, Albert.... Life will get better, Albert."

As he approached the checkout stand, he carefully brushed the toddler´s tears from his eyes and said again, "Try not to cry, Albert.... We will soon be home, Albert."

As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry as a young woman in line behind him said, "Sir, I think it is wonderful how sweet you are being to your little Albert."

The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying, "My grandson´s name is John.... I´m Albert."

Those who forget history - and the English language - may be condemned to mangle both. Historian Anders Henriksson, a five-year veteran of the university classroom, has faithfully recorded his freshman students´ more striking insights into European history. Possibly as an act of vengeance, Henriksson has assembled these fractured fragments into a chronological narrative from the Middle Ages to the present. Here is the students´ version of

HISTORY FROM THE MIDDLE EVIL AGES TO WORLD WAR I

Louis XIV became King of the Sun. He gave people food and artillery. If he didn´t like someone, he sent them to the gallows to row for the rest of their lives. Vauban was the royal minister of flirtation. In Russia, the 17th century was known as the time of the bounding of the serfs. Russian nobles wore clothes to humor Peter the Great. Peter filled his government with accidental people; orthodox priests became government antennae.

The enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire wrote a book called Candy that got him into trouble. Philosophers were unknown yet, and the fundamental stake was one of religious tolerance slightly confused with defeatism. France was in a serious state. Taxation was a great drain on the state budget. The French revolution was accomplished before it happened. The revolution catapaulted into Napolean. Napoleon was ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.

History started in 1815. Industrialization was precipitating in England. Problems were so complexicated that in Paris, out of a population of one million people, two million able bodies were on the loose. The middle class was tired and needed a rest. The old order could see the lid holding down new ideas beginning to shake. Among the goals of the chartists were universal suferage and an anal parliment. A new time zone of national unification roared over the horizon. Founder of the new Italy was Cavour, an intelligent Sardine from the north. Culture formented from its tip to its top. Dramatized were adventures in seduction and abortion. Music reeked with reality. Wagner was master of music, and when he died they labeled his seat "historical."

World War I broke out about 1912-1914. At war people get killed, and then they aren´t people any more, but friends. Peace was proclaimed at Versigh, which was attended by General Loid, Primal Minister of England. President Wilson arrived with 14 pointers. In 1917, Lenin revolted Russia. Germany was displaced after WW1. This gave rise to Hitler, who remilitarized the Rineland over a squirmish between Germany and France. Mooscalini rested his foundations on eight million bayonets and invaded Hi Lee Salasy. Germany invaded Poland, France invaded Belgium, and Russia invaded everybody. War screeched to an end when a nukleer explosion was dropped on Heroshima. A whole generation had been wiped out, and their forlorne families were left to pick up the peaces.

Gerrit de Leeuw describes

A SENIOR MOMENT

A very self-important liberal college freshman was attending a recent football game. He took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars , computers with light-speed processing, and....," pausing to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student´s litany and said, "You´re right, son. We didn´t have those things when we were young ... so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was deafening.

I just love senior citizens!

Jay asks if you have heard about the new restaurant on the moon. Great food but no atmosphere!

Burke Dykes sends this story of

GOLF IN THE VILLAGES

Arthur is 90 years old. He´s played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That´s it," he tells his wife. "I´m giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad that once I´d hit the ball I couldn´t see where it went."

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea.

As they sit down she says, "Why don´t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?"

"That´s no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother´s a hundred and three. He can´t help."

"He may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother- in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!"

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I can´t remember."

Kinga de Muinck´s story illustrates one of the hazards of

SENIORS GIVING BIRTH

With all the new technology regarding fertility, recently a 65-year- old woman was able to give birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. I´ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"When he cries?" they asked. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"

"BECAUSE I FORGET WHERE I PUT HIM ... OK?"

Don Henderson sends this example of

THE CANADIAN WAY

A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when a huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck, knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says, "That´s a karate chop from Korea."

Well, the little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer. The burly American then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. "That´s a judo chop from Japan," he says.

The little Newfie decides he´s had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and whacks him on the head, knocking him out cold. The Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a hockey stick from Canadian Tire."

Jackie Stevenson and Val Parr forward this story of

CUPS OF COFFEE

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor. The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and addressed the small gathering: "You may have noticed that all of the nicer-looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourself, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems."

He continued: "Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other´s cups...

"Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Enjoy your coffee!"

The happiest people don´t have the best of everything - they just make the best of everything. So remember: Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. And remember - the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

RECOMMENDED SITE

As if there is not enough to worry about with climate change and a worsening economy, there is now a rapid decline in the availability of cheap oil. For reviews of the movie "Crude Awakening", go to

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0776794/

We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness; the other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice. - Woody Allen