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IN THIS ISSUE

• Verda Cook begins the story of last summer´s train trip
• Jean Sterling comments on articles in last week´s issue
• It´s that time of year again!
• Catherine Green is testing the truth of recent research
• We remind you of the history lessons you supposedly learned
• Bruce Galway and Burke Dykes send traffic cop stories
• Anita Henderson tells about a desperate blonde
• Jackie Stevenson warns against absent-mindedness

Verda Cook writes that she has not been hired by Via Rail to promote travel by train. She and her husband, Stanley, think that Canada is a beautiful country and love to explore it. In their younger years they explored the country by car; now they prefer a more relaxed method of travel.

EXPLORING CANADA "THE CANADIAN" WAY

Two years ago, Stanley and I returned from a winter vacation in Alberta, excitedly telling neighbours and acquaintances about the relaxing travel by train. Within months we were approached by close friends who were about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. They wanted to celebrate their anniversary by traveling to Vancouver by train, but wanted traveling companions. We agreed to accompany them.

Train travel has once again become a popular method of travel. It is relaxing, provides an opportunity to meet people, and to make new acquaintances. As well, it gives one an opportunity to see the beautiful Canadian landscape which cannot be seen from an airplane or a car. Train travel takes a route through northern areas where car travel is impossible.

Via Rail offers a limited number of seniors´ discounts each season, so in order to take advantage of these discounts, our neighbour, a travel agent, suggested we book our vacation one year in advance. Our vacation was to include stopovers, and this complicates booking. We were very grateful for the assistance of our neighbour, who arranged the entire excursion and offered valuable tips. Then early Thursday morning, September 20, 2007, we boarded the commuter train in Kitchener, bound for Toronto, Ontario.

It was dark and the air was crisp. As I boarded the train, I was carrying a shoulder bag, a purse, a carry-on bag, and a book for reading. My ticket and a pair of sunglasses lay on top of the book. The conductor was very helpful in assisting me up the steps. Stanley followed with a large suitcase and carry-on bag. When the conductor lifted the suitcase, he groaned, then said, "Your wife must have packed that bag. Men don´t pack this tightly."

After depositing our luggage in the bin at the front of the car, I went to my seat and discovered that I no longer had my ticket. I retraced my steps in the car, but couldn´t find it. When I informed the conductor of my lost ticket, he told me I would be required to leave the train. He did not intimidate me because I knew the computer would show I was a paid passenger. I returned to my seat. While I was explaining to Stanley the conductor´s remarks, the conductor came by and informed me that he had my ticket in his possession; he had seen it drop. Not sure that I could believe this joker, I told him I was skeptical. He responded that he could prove it by stating my first name. I didnt like the "game" he was playing and told him I didn´t appreciate such familiarity from strangers. If he had my ticket, he could show me. From that time on the ride was quiet. I thought, "What a rough beginning to an adventure that was to be pleasurable."

We arrived at Union Station in Toronto, Ontario, two hours later. Here we were to transfer to The Canadian, the popular cross-country transportation. Our adventure was about to begin.

Having first-class reservations, we could board directly. Our car, The Dawson Manor, was near the end of this very long train and no red caps were available on the platform. When we finally arrived, we were directed to our rooms. Our personal service attendant introduced himself and explained all the buttons on the panel beside the vanity, then left us to settle into our quarters.

After arranging our room, we went with our traveling companions, John and Catherine, to the lounge car. North of Toronto, the scenery was varied. We passed through small settlements and some forests. I noticed a large infestation of tent caterpillars which were defoliating many of the trees.

Lunch was served in the dining car at 1:30 p.m. A late lunch, but then the crew had boarded only a little ahead of our departure from Toronto. After lunch we spent part of the afternoon playing cards in the activities lounge.

Mid-afternoon we had an extensive delay. Our train came to a complete halt in the middle of nowhere. One half-hour later, passengers began to query the crew as to the reason for the delay. The activities director told the passengers that Via Rail shared the tracks with CN Freight. CN Freight has a policy that engineers are not allowed to work more than 12 consecutive hours per day. The engineer of the freight train on our track two miles ahead could not proceed. That train was stationary until a replacement engineer was flown in. Later, several crew members voiced their exasperation with the situation, stating that the freight crew would have known the 12-hour limit was approaching. A call for a replacement should have been made well in advance. One and one-half hours later, our train was once again traveling.

At 4:00 p.m. we arrived at the town of Capreole, where the train was scheduled for refueling. During that time passengers were allowed to leave the train and take a walk. We welcomed this opportunity for exercise and fresh air.

Back on board, we went to the lounge/dome car and became acquainted with other travelers. The lounge/dome was the last car on the train. The lounge had windows completely surrounding the car, giving the passengers a panoramic view of the world outside. Comfortable lounge chairs provided seating. Two small buffet tables were located at the entry. One held a coffee urn with fresh coffee available at all times. Hot water and tea bags were also available. If coffee or tea was not wanted, juice was available. The other table contained bowls of fresh fruit and trays of cookies, muffins, and crackers. At the front of the car, a stairway lead upwards to another seating section. This was the domed portion of the car where one could sit and view the scenery. Here too, windows surrounded the car and formed the roof.

While enjoying the scenery from the lounge, we noticed a huge beaver lodge at the edge of a lake. A little further on, a heron stood like a statue at the edge of a lake waiting for dinner. His image reflected in the still water as if in a mirror.

At 5:00 p.m. hors d´oeuvres and cocktails were served in the lounge. At 6:00 p.m. we were called to the dining car for dinner.

When we returned to our rooms, our service attendant had transformed our room from a sitting room to a bedroom. A fresh bottle of water and a piece of chocolate lay on our pillows. On the vanity were two baskets containing everything necessary for personal care. I was very tired and did not want to go to the activities car for the evening movie.

To be continued.

CORRESPONDENCE

Jean Sterling comments on articles from last week´s Spinner:

Re A Brief History:

o I remember that I "met" somebody (I think her name was Jean) on the Tallahassee Freenet, and we exchanged some e-mails. I remember she was able to insert comments in the midst of my text when responding, which I thought was pretty neat. Tallahassee Freenet´s e-mail system was definitely not up to that back then. Anyway, eventually she said she had a friend who was interested in starting some sort of newsletter and was interested in exchanging e-mails with people who would participate rather than just being passive. I said that sounded interesting, and not too long after that I received your account about growing up in a lumber camp. That piece was most interesting, and I remember I printed it out and gave it to my father-in-law, who had grown up on a farm in the rural part of northern Pennsylvania.

o An interesting aside about the Tallahassee freenet. On the freenet my e-mail address had fsu.edu in it. FSU stands for Florida State University. Two of my sons went to the University of Florida, which is a bitter rival of Florida State. I used to delight in irritating my middle son, a diehard Florida Gator, by sending him e-mails with an fsu.edu domain.

"Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?A: The next time you´re in front of a mirror, take off your glasses."

o I find that I look much better in dim light (everybody looks good in candlelight) and from a distance.

"One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I´ve been calling for three days, and no one answered. I was worried." I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed."

o We went down to the Florida Keys for a few days, and one of our kids ended up calling a neighbor when we didn´t answer our phone. The neighbor told our son that we were down snorkeling over the reef down in the keys. Also, we weren´t at home when Charlie (the hurricane) blew through. I ended up paying for computer time in the hotel lobby to send an e-mail to the three kids. We figured it was easier than calling all three and talking to their answering machines.

Re Vancouver Gets Serious about Salvage:

"From Tuesday onward, the following items, including all blue box recyclables, are banned from garbage collection: * Yard trimmings."

o We have to separate yard waste from everything else. Last year the city didn´t pick up our garbage for several days, so I called to ask them why. The woman I talked with said that I probably had yard waste mixed in with my trash. I responded that my son was an environmental engineer and that I wouldn´t do that. My trash was picked up the very next day.

Re The Demographics of American Newspapers:

"7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren´t too sure who´s running the country and don´t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train."

o When I was a kid I rode on trains a lot and usually read the Daily News because, being a tabloid, it was a lot easier to turn the pages and not whack whoever was sitting next to me.

"11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store."

o I often glance at the headlines on the Enquirer plus the few other similar papers they have while waiting in line. Unreal! Who thinks these things up? Seems to me that New York City flooded under six feet of water and/or the end of the world was supposed to have happened last September.

I have lost track of who sent me this, but it is timely:

DRINKING FROM MY SAUCER

I´m drinking from my saucer on the eve of my 86th birthday...

I´ve never made a fortune,
and it´s probably too late now,
But I don´t worry about that much,
I´m happy anyhow;
and I go along life´s way,
I´m reaping better than I sowed.
I´m drinking from my saucer,
´Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven´t got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going´s tough
But I´ve got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank many for their blessings,
and for all that they´ve bestowed.
I´m drinking from my saucer,
´Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So help me not to gripe
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I´m drinking from my saucer,
´Cause my cup has overflowed.

If I have strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough,
I´ll not ask for other blessings,
I´m already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I´ll keep drinking from my saucer,
´Cause my cup has overflowed.

Catherine Green is on a Caribbean cruise checking the truth of this research:

A LITTLE WINE AND SUNLIGHT HELP BOOST WOMEN´S HEALTH

Two of life´s simple pleasures - a glass of wine, a little time in the sun - may have benefits for women´s health.

Wine first: In a report from Spain, researchers at the University of Barcelona evaluated the effects of moderate consumption of red and white wine - 6.8 ounces, or two glasses a day - in 35 non-smoking Spanish women, average age 38.

The study was done like any other controlled medical trial, with each woman drinking the recommended "dose" of either white or red wine for four-week periods, with a four-week dry period separating each round of study.

"The data showed that, in comparison with the baseline period, consumption of both red and white wines suggested a cardio-protective effect," said the report in the November issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

The study provides, "scientifically rigorous evidence" that moderate wine consumption helps keep the heart healthy by preventing low-grade inflammation in women, the Spanish team concluded.

A number of other studies have shown the same protective effect in men, with slightly greater intake of wine, Ellison said.

Next, sunlight: In the same issue of the journal, a British-American team reported a trial in which levels of inflammation-related molecules were measured against blood levels of vitamin D, made naturally by the skin when it is exposed to sunlight.

"The purpose of the study was to see if there was a correlation between vitamin D levels and indicators of aging," said co-researcher Jeffrey P. Gardner, a professor at the Center of Human Development and Aging at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey.

"Optimal vitamin D status may provide a benefit during the aging process," the researchers concluded, with additional trials needed to prove the point.

Still, health experts caution that excessive exposure to sunlight remains a leading risk factor for skin cancer. And too much drinking can harm the body in numerous ways.

Those who don´t study history are bound to repeat it, but it would be a challenge to repeat this version of

MIDDLE EVIL HISTORY

Those who forget history - and the English language - may be condemned to mangle both. Historian Anders Henriksson, a five-year veteran of the university classroom, has faithfully recorded his freshman students´ more striking insights into European history. Possibly as an act of vengeance, Henriksson has assembled these fractured fragments into a chronological narrative from the Middle Ages to the present.

During the Middle Ages, everyone was middle aged. Church and state were co-operated. Middle Evil society was made up of monks, lords, and surfs. After a revival of infantile commerce, merchants appeared. Those roamed from town to town exposing themselves and organizing big fairies in the countryside. The Crusades were expeditions by Christians who were seeking to free the holy land (the "Home Town" of Christ) from the Islams.

In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular. Finally, Europe caught the Black Death. It was spread from port to port by inflected rats. The plague also helped the emergence of English as the national language of England, France, and Italy. The Middle Ages slimpared to a halt. The renesance bolted in from the blue. Life reeked with joy. Italy became robust, and more individuals felt the value of their human being. Italy, of course, was much closer to the rest of the world, thanks to northern Europe.

Man was determined to civilise himself and his brothers, even if heads had to roll! It became sheik to be educated. Europe was full of incredable churches with great art bulging out of their doors.

Renaisance merchants were beautiful and almost lifelike. The Reformnation happened when German nobles resented that tithes were going to the pope, thus enriching Catholic coiffures. The popes were usually Catholic. An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically, Luthar was into reorientation mutation.

Anabaptist services tended to be migratory. Monks went right on seeing themselves as worms. The last Jesuit priest died in the 19th century. After the refirmation there were wars both foreign and infernal. If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout northern Europe that would include Italy, Burgangy, central Europe and India thus surrounding France. The German Emperor´s lower passage was blocked by the French for years and years.

Next week: more modern history.

Bruce Galway sends the story of

THE GLASGOW COP

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop´s expense.

Glasgow cop says, "License and registration, please."

London lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please."

London lawyer says, "What´s the difference?"

Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that´s the law. Licence and registration, please!"

London lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I´ll give you my licence and registration, and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don´t give me the ticket."

Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the s*** out of the lawyer and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or jest slow doon?"

~~~~~~

Burke Dykes forwards another cop and driver story from another country:

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "´Bout whut?"

Anita Henderson forwards this story of

THE DESPERATE BLONDE

A blonde suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she went out and bought a gun. She went to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opened the door she found him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde was really angry. She opened her purse to take out the gun, and as she did so, she was overcome with grief. She took the gun and put it to her head.

The boyfriend yelled, "No, honey, don´t do it!!!"

The blonde replied, "Shut up ... you´re next!"

Jackie Stevens forwards this story:

IT DOESN´T PAY TO LET YOURSELF BE DISTRACTED

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.

One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.

She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village, and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store: Paul Newman.

He was sitting at the counter having a doughnut and a cup of coffee. The woman´s heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blues. The actor nodded graciously and the star-struck woman smiled demurely.

Pull yourself together! she chided herself. You´re a happily married woman with three children; you´re forty-five years old, not a teenager!

The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman´s direction.

When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change - but her other hand was empty. "Where´s my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store?" Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk´s hand or in a holder on the counter, but no ice cream cone was in sight.

With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar warm, friendly grin and he softly said: "You put it in your purse."

RECOMMENDED SITES

Spend some time with a little boy and his dog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_EZDBVuOk4

Here is a video about the drastic effects of big box stores:

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/video/73239/

"Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." - C. S. Lewis