---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Zvonko Springer continues his story about building a nation
• Dixie Augusteijn brings us up to date on her busy life
• From Lew´s News, the story of the workout
• Peter Rollo forwards a man´s last words
• Dick Monaghan sent the story about an impatient genie
• Bill McNair supplies more ammunition for the battle of the sexes
• Bill, Catherine Green and Tom Kyle suggest interesting websites

Zvonko Springer continues the story of his experiences in

BUILDING A NEW NATION

Early in July I travelled by train from Osijek to Lukavac. Army trucks were waiting for us there and drove to the small village Gornje Zivinice, where we got off at last. About lunch time we had to form a queue in front of a strange-looking tent.

One by one we entered this tent, where two paramedics were handling some kind of hand pump. When my turn came to be "treated", that pump spewed a cloud of white powder onto my hair, ("Comrade, close your eyes!" blared the paramedic), under my shirt and into trousers. Our bodies were white with this powder that turned out to be DDT insect repellent. We came out looking as if we had been in a flour mill, and we boarded the trucks again.

We drove on a narrow road following a rivulet until we reached a small valley encircled by thick forest. Since midday we had not had a chance to have a drink and no food had been given out. Now in mid afternoon the heat was almost unbearable and a hot blast hit us the moment the truck stopped. We jumped onto a grassy floor, grumbling and swearing, and viewing with astonishment the camp that would be our home for the next two months.

At the valley´s centre stood a large tent, behind which was an open- air shanty that doubled as a kitchen and a store. At the valley´s far end was a footpath ascending to a sheltered place that would be the brigade´s command shelter. Later we would excavate a deep rectangular pit some 50m away behind some shrubs. This pit was to be our latrine, serving both female and male students. Above ground level the pit was divided by a partition made of interwoven branches. At each side of the pit was a wooden bar fixed on top of two short stumps to sit on. What was missing was a sign: "Beware of falling into the pit!" In the coming days the pit filled up gradually, the stench became horrible, and we preferred going deeper into woods to perform our needs. At last the command found it necessary to excavate a new pit for us nearer to our common tent and not so far up the slope. Also somebody up there in the command got the idea to bring some quick lime that reduced the pestilent flies and quenched the odour a little bit.

Girls occupied the rear part of the common tent that was divided into two compartments by a flimsy and see-through blind made of reed. I found myself a place further away from that blind, put my rucksack on the barren earth floor, and went out to collect leaves to spread below my blanket. Soon I found large ferns in the adjacent forest and cut some big branches before returning to the tent. A few colleagues looked puzzled but soon followed my example to prepare their sleeping places.

After a while we were called out for a roll call and to form U-shaped two row deep rank around a flagpole. The commander arrived, accompanied by some comrades who would be the group leaders in our brigade of some 120 students. After a short speech of introduction, the flag was lowered with singing the nation´s new anthem "Hej, Slaveni". After this ceremony, which would be repeated day after day, mornings and evenings, we went to that open-air shanty to fetch our evening meal.

A kind of "one pot" thick soup was served in deep aluminum plates if we did not own a pan and a large chunk of white bread went with it. Aluminum spoons were available too that had to be returned clean to the canteen later. With foresight I had brought my ex-military saucer (which served me well last year in POW camp) and eating kit so I had not have any problem with getting food that was prepared in ex- military mobile kettles. The big loaves of white bread were not prepared in the camp but brought in, most probably from Zivinice village. We sat where we found a place on a log or trunk, and small groups formed among acquaintances or colleagues of the same study course. I had noticed several colleagues with whom I had not had any particular contact yet, and other brigadiers were from different technical courses.

Darkness came slowly to the valley, bringing fresh breezes that cooled off the heat a little, but the nights became cool, not to say cold. At the foot of the hill was a spring of fresh water flowing towards the nearby Oskova River. Next morning a latrine would be dug a few hundred meters uphill from this spring. Later we drank fresh water from this spring and washed dishes and other belongings there. I would fill my aluminum flask with water, putting it together with any remaining bread in a knapsack to carry with me when going out of camp for work. All my behaviour was governed by my experiences during the deadly march just a year ago. That also included keeping a low profile and not entering into any discussions, or getting familiar with anybody.

Returning to the tent, I spread my woollen blanket on the fern leaves, but just as I was lying down to sleep, somebody came in and wondered why I was not attending the welcome ceremony. Well, do what other do and follow the mass, hiding yourself in it as an insignificant "comrade".

Near the flagpole was a campfire and sparks flew in the breeze, making me wonder when the dry grass or shrubs would catch fire. Comrades of both sexes set in a circle around the log fire and soon they were singing partisan songs that stirred in me very uneasy feelings. I pretended to be singing, repeating the words but keeping my voice very low. After a while some people started dancing around the fire, making me shiver and a chill ran down my spine. I stood there looking at my feet, waiting for a chance to creep back to the tent unnoticed. Luckily the welcome affair did not last too long and I returned to my fern bed to sleep again. I told myself - try to sleep and rest as long as possible tonight because you never know what the next day will bring. This was to be my motto from now on.

To be continued.

CORRESPONDENCE

Dixie Augusteijn writes: I haven´t written in ages but am still here and looking forward each week to what the other Spinners have been doing. What a wonderful thing has evolved from what Jean started so many years ago - I first saw news of it in CARP and answered out of curiosity, not realizing it was opening the door to many friendships. Jean, you have done a great job and am glad there are others willing to take it on when you decide to call it quits. I don´t quite know how you cope with that weekly deadline - there must be times when you dread it! Confession? [ED.: Indeed, there are weeks like that; this is one of them. ;)]

Not having written, you may have thought I passed on to greener pastures, but not so - I am still here in Lord Dufferin - but not so mobile as I was. I am glad we made the Alaska trip last year as now I think it would have been too much - but don´t tempt me!

My daughter has sold the family home - which is a blow - and now they intend to live on their boat which at present is in Virginia, eventually making a trip around the world - just the news to calm a mother´s nerves. But if they want to do it, they should do it now while they are able and can enjoy it, and - I hope - endure.

It has been a big upheaval, getting rid of so many things accumulated over the years. As of yet, only one of the granddaughters has a home, so much of the furniture has been sold. The second girl, Sarah, is presently teaching at Guelph university but is working toward her PhD in social science and hoping that leads to a foreign assignment; the youngest has her BSc but wants to go for her Masters. I hope she at least will stay in the same country.

Here at the L.D. we have had a coming and going of chefs, with varying results in the menus. But it makes for entertainment.

On Halloween we really celebrated: everyone dressed in costume, the prize going to a man dressed as Charlie Chaplin - he was a good sport, putting on make-up and managing to twirl his cane without falling over. My outfit was easy as Sarah had brought me an very voluminous mumu from Uganda - in black with big splashes of orange, so I didn´t have to do anything except put it on. With those colours I don´t know when else I could possibly wear it.

A few months ago my last friend of our working days in Maracaibo died in Boca Raton. We had not seen one another for years but kept contact by phone and were able to talk over old times. Then our last male friend of Maracaibo, who retired at the same time we did, died in Australia. This was followed by my brother´s death. So now I have no one to talk with about two very important parts of my life. Living so long can lead to a lonely time. But then - think poitive

I certainly keep busy! I have an extra table in my room and it is piled with work waiting to be done. A recent visit from a niece who is into history and family history in a big way led to more books and papers being pulled out and files opened. She is coming later in the month to stay over for a few days - we have rooms here for visitors - and I can see lots of family history being brought out. We have some new contacts in England on another branch of the family so it never ends.

I don´t know whether any of this letter makes sense, as it certainly rambles, but will let you know I am here and - incidentally - many of the jokes from the Spinner are repeated at our coffee sessions! They do get around.

Borrowed from Lew´s News:

THE WORKOUT

Dear Diary,

For Christmas last year my daughter purchased for me a week of personal training at our local health club. Since I know I need to get in shape, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try, so I called the club, made a reservation with a personal trainer who identified himself as Bruce, a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My daughter was pleased and the club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday - I started my day at 6 a.m. Tough to get out of bed but it was well worth it when I arrived at the club to find this blond Greek god waiting for me. He gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill and was alarmed it was so fast but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way he conducted his aerobic class after my workout. Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging me as I did my sit-ups although my gut was aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week.

Tuesday - I drank a whole pot of coffee but I finally made it out the door. Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy steel bar into the air, then he put weights on it. My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill but I made the full mile. Bruce´s rewarding smile made it worthwhile. I feel GREAT. It´s a whole new life for me.

Wednesday - The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I feel like I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was okay as long as I didn´t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my screams were bothering other club members. His voice was a little too perky for so early in the morning. When he scolds he gets this nasally whine which is very annoying. My chest hurt when Bruce put me on the treadmill so he put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would some idiot invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by escalators and elevators? Bruce told me it would help get me in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap, too.

Thursday - Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin cruel lips were pulled back in a snarl. I couldn´t help being a half hour late. It took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce started me working with the dumbbells. When he wasn´t looking I ran and hid in the locker room. He sent Lars to find me, then as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine, which I sank.

Friday - I hate that S.O.B. more than any human being has ever hated another human being. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain I´d beat him with it. He wanted me to work on my triceps. I can´t even move my triceps any more. And if you don´t want dents in your floor, don´t hand me @#$%&# barbells that weigh more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn´t it have been someone softer, like the choir director?

Saturday - Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his shrill grating voice wondering why I didn´t show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine. I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up watching the Weather Channel for eleven straight hours.

Sunday - I´m having the church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank God this week is over. I´ll also pray that next year my daughter chooses a gift for me that´s fun, like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

Peter Rollo forwards this story about

LAST WORDS

A very ill man lying on his bed in the local hospital was visited by the local priest, who stood in front of the bed talking.

The priest noticed the man gasping and turning purple, at the same time he reached out for the pad and pencil alongside the bed. He wrote something on the paper, and then collapsed and died.

The priest gave him the usual blessing, after which, being curious, he picked up the pad to see what the dead man had written. It was as follows:

"For God´s sake move, you are standing on my life support tube! "

Back in 1999, Dick Monaghan sent me this story about

THE GENIE

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp, He picked it up, rubbed it, and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I´m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I´ve always wanted to go to Hawaii but I´m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you please build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That´s impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how much steel! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I´ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don´t care and that I´m insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women ... know how they feel inside and know why they´re crying, know what they really want when they say nothing ... know how to make them truly happy..."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

Bill McNair sends this ammunition in

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

He said, I don´t know why you wear a bra; you´ve got nothing to put in it.
She said, You wear pants, don´t you?

He said, Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said, That´s a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said, What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said, Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don´t know; it has never happened.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?

A. Single women come home, see what´s in the fridge and go to bed.
   Married women come home, see what´s in bed, and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They´re married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

THIS WEEK´S RECOMMENDED SITES

Bill McNair sends the URL for a free, easy to use and full-featured office suite that supports all kinds of documents, including Microsoft Office, Acrobat PDF and Open Document Format: http://www.openoffice.org/

Catherine Green forwards this video of a skateboarding bulldog :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziDeUbifKIM

Tom Kyle writes: This presentation will hit home to many of you. Be sure to watch it and then send it to your children and share it with your friends: http://parentswish.com/site01/big.html

"When you row another person across the river, you get there yourself." - Fortune Cookie