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IN THIS ISSUE

• Arthur Pay is dodging doodlebugs in Eastbourne
• Irene Harvalias finishes her story about Nicaragua
• Barbara Wear suggests a simple security measure
• Gerrit de Leeuw sends another golf story
• Marilyn Magid tells of the importance of correct addresses
• Jack Peaker forwards some interesting quotes
• Dick Chenot sends a story of an embarrassed ventriloquist
• Kate Brookfield´s story is about two magnificent swimmers
• Carol Hansen and Jack Peaker recommend websites

Arthur Pay is in a staging ground for D-Day:

WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE WAR, DADDY?

Charlotte was visiting on one occasion when a doodlebug came over very low as we were walking along the path at Beachy Head. It was so low that I felt I could have scratched its belly with a clothes prop. To complicate matters, soldiers were firing at it with machine guns and tracer bullets over our heads. There was nowhere to hide so we both flattened ourselves on the side of the hill and hoped. The shooting must have had some effect because the thing changed direction and came down in Eastbourne town. I learned subsequently that, fortunately, the only casualty was a corpse that was awaiting burial.

The people of Eastbourne were used to long red alerts, because Eastbourne is only 30 miles or so from France. But they had a local immediate danger alarm that was called the cuckoo, because of its notes. (The all-clear was the cuckoo in reverse, a sort of oo-cuck.) Apparently Jerry planes previously used to fly in low, under the radar, up over Beachy Head, and then go through the town with machine guns and out the other side.

The inhabitants were very sensitive to the cuckoo, and everyone hurried to shelter immediately.

Hurricanes and Spitfires also used to chase the doodlebugs, and I can recall one passing immediately overhead and seeing the guns of the following plane opening up as it passed over the house. I thought they were both coming through the bedroom window. Another snag with doodlebugs was that they didn´t whistle as they came down, unlike bombs, and you sometimes forgot to duck.

Once when on leave in London during the doodlebug attacks, I called at the China Inland Mission and they were having quite a time with the arrival of these flying bombs, whereas at Eastbourne the doodlebugs were really only in transit to London.

I wrote to the ARP controller at Eastbourne and requested a transfer back to London. I also asked John Riddlesdale to put in a request from Islington for my return. It is probably some indication of what a thorn in the side I was that the request was granted within a week and I was back in Islington almost exactly twelve months to the day from when I had left.

Shortly after that the Allied troops overran the launching sites at Calais and the V1 attacks began to subside. Again as always, I was looking for action that wasn´t there. Charlotte was working at Hermon Hill Hospital on shift work and was at home during the time she wasn´t working.

In 1941 we had moved from 14 King´s Road Leytonstone to 21 Forest Drive, Manor Park, in the same house as Charlotte´s mother and family.

I was able to go back to my routine of classes at Islington, but they had ceased to provide transport, so I had to cycle to Brewery Road School where the classes were held and was required to return immediately to the depot at Newington Green in the event of an alert.

However, as I mentioned, the doodlebugs tailed off and began to be replaced by the V2 weapons.

There was no alert with these - they arrived with a large unannounced explosion. In fact, you heard them coming after they had arrived. I was called out only twice to incidents involving these weapons, but they were falling all the time and there were several near our home in Manor Park, two very close indeed. We also had a flying bomb land just up the road from us, in Manor Park.

In July 1944 Charlotte became pregnant and Tony arrived in February 1945, right in the middle of considerable bombardment of rockets coming in over the North Sea from Holland and Belgium. Indeed, the Sister at East Ham Memorial Hospital reckoned that there was nothing like rockets to precipitate labour pains.

Eventually the rocket launching sites in the Low Countries were overrun by the Allies and the V2 attacks ceased.

I don´t know how many rockets landed in London but there was a bit of a mystery about them when they were first used. The British authorities would not at first admit that they were German weapons. There were several large explosions that were dismissed as being caused by domestic gas, and there was one large one in Aldersbrook Road, the site of which was guarded by the police, who kept away the many people who wanted to look. Eventually, after much talk about flying gasometers, the papers admitted the existence of the V2 bomb.

These bombs had a surprising effect because no precautions could be taken against them. You either bought it and knew nothing about it, or else there was a large explosion that someone else got. With ordinary bombs, or with doodlebugs, you could take some sort of shelter (or not), but with these things you eventually came to the conclusion that as you didn´t know whether Jerry had just lit the blue touchpaper for your one, you might just as well forget about it. They were very destructive but as they arrived at about 4000 miles an hour the damage was localised.

To be concluded.

Irene Harvalias concludes her account of a visit to

NICARAGUA

Christine´s and John´s house was on a little hill, which was a wonderful thing on the really hot days because you always managed to find some spot with a bit of a breeze.

Just across from the house, on a higher hill, was the church of Santo Domingo. Santo Domingo Day is on August the first, and the only city in Nicaragua that celebrates it is Managua. Needless to say, days before the actual feast day, the bells rang at all hours of the day and night, and there were loud parties and music till the crack of dawn. We had to close the windows and turn on the air conditioners so we could sleep. They also had extremely loud firecrackers which just about made you jump off your chair. Being slightly hard of hearing didn´t help one bit! The feasting went on forever, it seemed, until the day itself, when there was a big procession, and they marched across the city to another Santo Domingo church, where the decorated float they had carried would remain until the tenth of August, and then the whole thing would be repeated backwards. Fortunately, I had to leave on the eighth to come back home.

Maeva and Christine thought I should see a little bit of other parts of Nicaragua, so one day Felipe took Maeva and me to San Juan del Oriente, where they had dozens of little touristy type shops with really colourful pottery. One of the most popular seemed to be sets of bells of all colours that could be hung in the garden or patio. They also had wonderful nurseries with all sorts of lush tropical plants.

There was a crater lake in Caterina, which was just around the corner. On the way to Granada where we were to spend the day, we saw two volcanoes: Momotombo and Momotombita. They are very close to each other, and I believe are still active.

Felipe dropped us off in the middle of Granada, in the Plaza Central (every city seems to have a central square). All around the square there were buggies with horses that were decked out like brides, and the drivers offered tours of the city for twenty dollars. Maeva said she´d like to do that because when she was there before, her husband wanted to walk everywhere, so we climbed up on a buggy and Manuel, the driver, took us all over the place, giving us a running commentary on the scenery and sites, and bits of history, in Spanish and broken English.

Granada is a colonial city and has some of the oldest buildings in the country. First we saw the Calle La Calzada, which is the oldest street. We passed the Iglessia Guadalupe, a really old church, then went down the Calle de Mangos, at the foot of which was a statue of Francisco Hernandes de Cordoba. On the return trip, we passed the Iglessia de San Francisco, which is the oldest church in Nicaragua, built in 1529, and which has been cleaned and refurbished. El Recodo is the oldest house in Granada, build in 1524, where Walker, a self- proclaimed governor - I think - lived in 1856. The San Juan de Dios hospital is very old, built in 1888.

We were deposited back in the Plaza Central and had a coffee, and then found the place where we could pick up a minibus or van to get back to Managua.

The next trip we took was an overnighter to Leon, another very old colonial city. We saw many more churches, museums, and markets and even managed, at the last minute of our stay, to find the Cedar House, a new Canadian hotel just opened. We didn´t get a chance to explore it because Felipe, who had overnighted at his parents´ house, was picking us up for the return trip.

We walked a lot in Leon, even though it was really hot, and it also rained. The first thing we did after we found our hotel was dump our stuff and take to the streets. The big market there wasn´t as large as the one in Managua, and the wares seemed very similar, but much cheaper. My favourite stall was one where the vendor was selling baseball-type caps, fancy paper bags and ... eggs! I thought that was a great combination.

There were all sorts of fruits and vegetables, some of which I´d never seem before, and to this day don´t know what they´re called or what they taste like. They had a lot of plantains, which were also featured in many restaurants as part of the menu.

We had a cold lemonade at an old monastery which had been converted into a luxurious hotel with wonderful gardens of low mazes and tall palm trees. Leon hasn´t been updated much as Granada, but they are just beginning to refurbish buildings, so you see very dirty walls in need of paint right next to brightly repainted turquoise, mustard- yellow, and brick-red buildings. And all over the streets, you see expensive cars next to horse-and-buggy outfits that are used for transporting people and goods. A lot of people still walk, and the school children look wonderful in their uniforms, playing in the school yards at recess. School starts much earlier in Guatemala. The public schools were already in session when we got there, and just before I left, Christine´s two children - who go to a private school - went back to school. They were up and ready by 6:30 a.m., as they had to be driven quite a way, and school starts early - because of the heat, I suppose.

Two days after school started, I was on my way back home. It had been a different kind of holiday for me. I don´t do too well sitting around and lazing in the sun. I certainly enjoyed seeing the two old cities and visiting with Christine and John and the children, but I was really happy to get back home to my quiet and cool apartment and my very quiet dog!

Wear Barbara sends this advice for owners of car alarms:

THE FOLLOWING COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home, or someone trying to get into your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator.

Next time you come home for the night and start to put your keys away, think of this: it´s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from almost everywhere inside your house; it works if you park in your driveway or garage.

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar or rapist won´t stick around ... after a few seconds the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there, and the criminal won´t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there.

It would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, when you can´t reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn´t hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she´ll know there´s a problem.

Another one from Gerrit de Leeuw´s inbox cleanup:

GOLF STORY

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack. "Help me, dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband dials 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I´m dying over here and you´re putting?"

"Don´t worry, dear," says the husband calmly. "They found a doctor on the second hole and he´s coming to help you."

"How long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

"No time at all," says her husband, practising his putting stroke. "Everybody´s already agreed to let him play through!"

Marilyn Magid´s story shows the importance of a

CORRECT E-MAIL ADDRESS

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband´s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow´s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I´ve arrived
Date: October 6, 2007

I know you´re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I´ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!

Jack Peaker forwards these

INTERESTING QUOTES

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. - Bob Hope

Progress isn´t made by early risers. It´s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. - Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

Her virtue was that she said what she thought; her vice that what she thought didn´t amount to much. - Peter Ustinov

No man is free who cannot command himself. - Seneca

"To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one´s responsibility as a free man." - Alan Paton

Dick Chenot forwards this story about

THE VENTRILOQUIST

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he´s doing a show in a small town in Florida. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual routine that includes blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I´ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person´s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It´s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind discriminates against not only blondes, but women in general ... and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize.

The blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I´m talking to that little jerk on your knee."

Kate Brookfield forwards this story about

GOOD SWIMMERS

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, "But we don´t know anything about each other."

He replied, "That´s all right; we´ll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up, took off his towel, climbed up to the 10-meter board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we´d learn more about each other as we went along."

So she got up, jumped into the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end. She did laps in freestyle, breast-stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing heavily.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No," she said, "I was a hooker in Saskatoon and I worked both sides of the river."

RECOMMENDED WEBSITES

Carol Hansen suggests you see this mural, clicking on individual square:

Jack Peaker directs you to a new version of the animated icon:

The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson